Beautiful Brunette

Dream By Jakey – I’ve asked everyone and no one can figure this one out. I’ve always been a frequent dreamer, about half of the dreams I remember have been lucid dreams. The “chased by a witch” and ”teeth falling out” dreams are fairly standard for me… but this one is new and it’s been bugging me.

The dream begins right in the middle of making love to a beautiful, warm, long-haired brunette (I usually date only blondes). It’s not just sex, but making love because all the emotions of love are there: trust, warmth, confidence, fulfillment, etc. She seems so familiar, but I’ve never met her. She has 3 freckles on the bridge of her nose.


As our eyes meet, I see her start to cry… not a painful or frightened cry, but one of deep sadness. We stop and I reach out for her, she reaches to me. But we can’t reach each other… she starts crying harder. I begin to panic. Although we keep reaching, we’re getting farther apart. Finally, she just disappears. I wake up in a panic and, this was really new to me, I felt EMPTY because the emotions were gone.
For the first time after a dream, the feelings were as strong in real life as in the dream. I was deeply sad. About me, I’m a 32 year old Type A Virgo, professional male (advanced degrees), never married but a couple of years out of a 7 year relationship (blonde). Had girlfriends since then… all blondes. Brunettes have always been a source of trouble for me in the past, so I don’t understand why I’d be so sad about losing this one in my dream…

Any thoughts?

Reply By Sowelu – Well, I’m always up for a challenge , so here goes. This is my view, of course, so use your own discernment, as always. You Said: “The dream begins right in the middle of making love to a beautiful, warm, long-haired brunette (I usually date only blondes).”

Making love in a dream is symbolic of merging aspects of self, integrating the qualities that the partner represents. Each person in a dream symbolizes an aspect of the dreamer. Females typically represent emotions and/or the unknown, the sub- and unconscious parts of self.

Hair symbolizes “power”… self power of some kind. Light hair (blonde) symbolizes “light power” or spiritual power, higher ideals, truth that the dreamer recognizes and possesses.

Dark hair symbolizes “dark power”… prejudice, fears and fearful thought patterns, negativity, things “hidden” to the conscious awareness of the dreamer, but possessed by the dreamer, nonetheless. The longer the hair, the more power of whatever kind.

Putting these two symbols together, a female with dark, long hair, you have a dream where you’re merging with, embracing, your own powerful dark emotions and “hidden self”. You Said: “It’s not just sex, but making love because all the emotions of love are there: trust, warmth, confidence, fulfillment, etc. She seems so familiar, but I’ve never met her.”

Her familiarity is due to your own sense of knowing, at some level of your being, that these parts of you exist. For the most part, you are comfortable with them, have come to trust them, recognize their value (warmth, confidence and fulfillment), to some degree.

However, not actually knowing her, or never having “met” her, indicates that while you’re familiar with this part of you at a feeling level, you don’t consciously understand it fully, and haven’t quite “faced”  this part of you in your daily life with awareness that offers it’s true meaning and value to you.

You Said: “She has 3 freckles on the bridge of her nose.” 3 is a symbol for “trinity”, wholeness awareness, mind/body/spirit harmony. Noses symbolize a lesson in play, that’s as “plain as the nose on your face”… you are facing this lesson now in your life.

Noses also indicate the direction or “scent” of the proper trail to follow. In other words, “facing” this part of you IS what you’re meant to do at this time.

That these freckles appear on the “bridge” of her nose indicates that you’re at a transition point in your life growth, and this lesson, once embraced, will act as the bridge to a new level of higher awareness for you, a new harmonized sense of completeness or wholeness within your sovereign self.

You Said: “As our eyes meet, I see her start to cry… not a painful or frightened cry, but one of deep sadness. We stop and I reach out for her, she reaches to me. But we can’t reach each other… she starts crying harder. I begin to panic. Although we keep reaching, we’re getting farther apart. Finally, she just disappears.

The message of the dream gets clearer at this point. Eyes are “the windows to the soul”, indicating that when your eyes meet, you’re seeing a part of yourself – what’s in you  – clearly, in the dream.

And you’re being shown your progress at this stage of your growth path. It seems that, as you began integrating your ”dark side” in life, you hit a set of feelings of deep sadness that caused you to stop the integration process and move away from your feelings.

Something about this sadness caused your masculine – your thoughts and behaviors – to move away from embracing this depth of your feeling self, yet the desire to do so never left. The sense I have is that there is a confusion or misunderstanding in your mental self about how to actually integrate these feelings that the lover represents in your dream.

The sense I get is that your masculine self (again, thoughts, beliefs, attitudes, behaviors) has attempted to deal with these feelings in a particular way that is not  “harmonizing” but doing just the opposite… causing this part of you to get further and further out of your reach. And that is a painful experience to the soul.

You Said: “I wake up in a panic and, this was really new to me, I felt EMPTY because the emotions were gone. For the first time after a dream, the feelings were as strong in real life as in the dream. I was deeply sad.”

Waking up from a dream carrying over feelings from the dream is a message that you are awakening to this truth about yourself in life. You’re feeling the truth of your self status at this time. The emptiness you may be living with, within you, stems from not having embraced this dark emotional part of self that you finally looked in the eyes in your dream.

When we deny or reject any part of our emotions, it tends to cause a deadening of all emotion, eventually. Everything begins to feel “faked”, nothing seems to have the vibrancy and luster it could or seems it should. Our joys are cut short or dampened by this feeling that it’s not enough or it’s temporary, fleeting. The cause, again, is due to some part of our emotions being kept in separation, unaccepted, denied, repressed, etc.

The panic indicates a potential emotional experience you could face if you don’t embrace your darkest emotions…panic attacks, perhaps, or feelings of a panicky nature with no clear cause, as you go about your life.

You Said: “About me, I’m a 32 year old Type A Virgo, professional male (advanced degrees), never married but a couple of years out of a 7 year relationship (blonde). Had girlfriends since then… all blondes. Brunettes have always been a source of trouble for me in the past, so I don’t understand why I’d be so sad about losing this one in my dream… “

The sense I get here is that there is a very specific reason that “brunettes have always been a source of trouble” for you , and this dream is pointing to why. They are reflections of a part of yourself you haven’t integrated parts or a part you’ve pushed away without understanding… Again, that’s my view, hope it helps. Take what fits, toss the rest, of course.

Namasté, Sowelu