Dream By May - A friend of mine has been having a dream that she cannot seem to wrap herself around and figure out, so thought I would ask here to see what other people's interpretations of the dream may be.
In her dream she is standing at a bridge, on the bridge is a man she has been in a relationship with for a couple of years now (and with whom she continues to go back and forth in her mind as to whether she should move forward with him or go in a different direction) and he is urging her to join him on the bridge.
But, she cannot as she is afraid the bridge is going to collapse if she walks out on to it. No matter what she does, she cannot get herself to walk out onto the bridge and before the dream ends (and after she wakes up) she becomes extremely frustrated with herself for this.
She describes the bridge to me as being very sturdy and in great repair. I have not asked what the bridge spans but if it's the same as the example, then it goes over a small creek.
I told her that I think the dream represents her 'self' telling her that the only thing keeping her from the opportunities that lie on that bridge (the relationship) is some fear within herself. Considering that she is afraid
the bridge is going to collapse, she fears that something about her will cause the relationship to collapse but that is unfound as the bridge is clearly sturdy and safe. I also told her that sometimes dreams can signify crossing over something into something more positive and the only thing keeping her from that positive change is that very fear, so, get over the fear and it will be a good thing.
Anyhow, I was hoping to get some other perspectives on this as it seems like a rather importantly symbollic dream.
Thanks May
Hiya May
First off, I think you offered an excellent dream interpretation to your friend. I would have provided pretty much the same as you have. However, it seems the general gist isn't enough to provide a trigger of insight for your friend to "feel" the meaning herself, so I thought I'd write with a bit more on the same theme. Sometimes the same concept worded in various ways can open a door to new insight about the specific meaning/use of the dream for the dreamer.
Bridges in dreams often symbolize that a transition within the Self is in the offing. A change is in the works, typically leaving the old and entering the new. It represents an opportunity for growth; a threshold of a new direction in life for the person.
Sometimes it represents the concept of bridging levels of consciousness more than a physical life change. A "change of understanding about life", a new depth of self awareness, or a merger of the feminine/intuitive self with the masculine/intellectual self. I've never seen a bridge in a dream symbolize moving toward something negative, btw. They seem to predominantly represent an opportunity for positive growth.
As you mentioned, the conflict displayed in the dream is the dreamer's own fear. There is no other impediment to moving forward with this growth opportunity. Her fear seems to be that this shift is not something she trusts yet. She doubts its sustainability, it seems.
Funny thing about fear is that it's a self-fulfilling prophecy. We often pick up on this 'tendency" about fear at a subconscious level, yet don't quite realize all the influence fear has on us. We don't want to manifest from it and our innate wisdom tells us we might as long as we feel fear, so we hesitate to move forward. But we don't quite understand that we also literally can't project forward clearly or accurately while we still have the fear.
We know we don't want what we fear, but we also cannot imagine what else there might be moving forward, because our fear acts as a lens through which we use our imagination. So we paralyze ourselves. We're hoping for a guarantee first, proof that there IS something other than what we fear, before we choose anything. But we cannot believe anything that doesn't contain the fear potential, because we still carry the fear! It dictates what's real for us, even though we don't want it to, or are trying to "see beyond fear".
I'm not sure if I'm wording the influence of fear well here, so bear with me if I repeat myself or sound simplistic.
We can spin ourselves round and round in this looping "logic" and many do... sometimes for entire lifetimes. This kind of problem is occurring for most people, most of the time when it comes to dealing with things they fear. We end up creating a prison of a life, just so we can pretend we're safe and secure. But really... we've made our life a very small, confining experience. A key to understand about why we do this to ourselves is that we are "head-oriented" instead of "heart-oriented" in our understanding of ourselves.
In other words... we live from our head. Whatever our head tells us is who we are, we believe that's our self-identity. Even more, whatever our head tells us about life and truth... we believe as well. We allow our head to run our lives like a tyrant, in fact. We are its slave, though so many of us never realize it. We think it's "sensible" to live this way. But it isn't. It's a way of killing off our potential.
The head only knows a small universe of possibility. And it knows us as small, vulnerable human beings who must protect ourselves against so many unknowns in that limited universe. The head believes us to be limited by very structured physicality. Limited by time, space, matter and "the way things have always been". Incidentally, the mind is not really a dreamer at this stage of human evolution. If we feel a dream or have a wistful sense of grand possibility... it's our heart speaking. Humanity's heads have exhausted the range of what's possible while living from it. It's now more like a poor rerun projector. It can only seek to manifest what's already been done by someone, somewhere, at some point in human history.
The sense I have about your friend is that she's being urged to realize that there is a way to grow beyond the tight confines of "how it's always been". Beyond the self definition she's always had. Beyond the expanse of possibilities she's always only ever seen for herself. It requires a link up inside herself, to another part of self that historically human beings have ignored. That part of self is the heart.
It's a way out of the looping madness created by dedicating one's life to believing in fear and limitation. Shift the focus to the heart. Use the mind to make the decision to check in with the heart. To defer to the heart's wisdom. Once this decision is made, things will change. To begin, she will need to listen inward more, and be "impinged" with insights, rather than relying on old truths or facts or concrete ideas. And yes, her footsteps will falter more than when she lives from what her head knows. But the landscape changes, horizon expansions and fulfillment potentials are sooo worth it.
By using the mind that would drive us crazy with its limited spin cycle of possibilities, to instead make the conscious decision to defer to the heart, we open ourselves to a grander vista of possibility. We allow love to have a say in our choices. We acknowledge that fear is not all there is. We open the door to something new, beyond the loop of limited logic spins. We dare to say there's something more, beyond what our mind allows as possible.
And of course... the mind will recoil in fear at the prospect. This means that new relationships will grow within the Self. We will have to seek out a larger identity... one that both intimately lives with the mind... but is also more than the mind. One that knows life in a different way than the logical processes of the mind... and learns to trust that new awareness.
Trust in the flow of life, rather than trust in facts and figures and concrete substance, will become the new foundation of self. And the only guarantee is that what is encountered henceforth will be more than what man has encountered previously.
Each time this choice is made, in the face of each fear that arises, we end up discovering a great deal about that old fear. Where it stems from inside, why it's there, what it protected... and eventually... how good it feels to release it. Freeing oneself for new experiences. Freeing oneself from the confines of a false self identity, so that we can come to know ourselves in a far larger, more enjoyable and loving context than what's been known thus far. This is what the heart offers, over the mind's possibilities for a life on earth. It seems to be that this is what your friend is being encouraged to choose.
Wow... more than I thought I had to say on the subject. All of that sort of flowed for me, so perhaps it's pertinent to your friend. The male, as it seems to me you suggested, is representative of a part your friend. His image was used to point to that part of herself. If they have a love relationship, it may be that his image was used to represent the wisdom of the heart, perhaps. That this is what is actually encouraging her to cross that bridge.
If so, it may not indicate what could happen in the actual, physically real relationship she has with the man whose image was used in her dream, btw. What she's actually choosing is not necessarily him, but what he represents for her... the heart.
Hope that all made sense and I sure hope your friend finds something helpful in this!!
Blessings,
Sowelu
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