Now, he is dating some girl (I don't know her at all) they have been together for about a year now. Every so often she will contact me on-line, accusing me of trying to ruin their relationship or saying I am the reason for their problems. She also contacts other people and tells them that she swears that he has been with me. I do know though when they argue he does call me and sometimes drives by my house. I have made no effort to get back together with him because as you can see its pointless and he would not want to be with me.
Dream 1 - The first dream I had was about a week or so ago. I was standing in town and it was pretty crowded. Well, through the crowd she comes into sight and is rubbing her belly. She looked like she was about 7 months pregnant.
With a big smile on her face she said that she just wanted everyone to know that she was pregnant with his child. Well, I was first in shock and then I was kind of upset, then towards the end of the dream I started to think "why isn't he here with her? what did he have to say about this pregnancy?" and I was waiting for him to show up and express his thoughts about it but he never showed up and then I woke up.
Dream 2 - Last night I had another dream. This time I was at my house and she comes over like we are friends and is talking to me and smiling the whole time. Well of course I am thinking "I dont know why she is talking to me or thinks I even care." Not sure though what we were supposed to be talking about.
Then, its time for her to leave and I notice her belly looks funny and around this time she starts to tell me that she is pregnant. Then a guy that I don't know but knows her shows up. He butts into the conversation to add that it isn't his baby but he is going to be the father and she got pregnant before they were together.
Although you can hardly tell she is pregnant if at all. (in reality this part wouldn't make any sense as seeing they have been together for about a year unless they broke up and then she got pregnant and they got back together.) and once again I am waiting for my ex to show up to agree to these statements or just say his opinion on it but yet again he dose not and is no where in sight.I then wake up.
Now, I know that recurring dreams have a message to them or else they wouldn't keep recurring. I'm just having trouble figuring out the meaning and what part I should focus on...the pregnancy or his lack of presence?
Also, I have not really had any contact with him during the time they are together unless he is calling me when they argue. Also I have not been thinking about him or talking about him recently up until I had these dreams.
Your interpretation would be greatly appreciated. Thanks.
Reply By Sowelu - Hello Hollowheart! I find that a "people populated" dream's meaning typically remains elusive if I am unaware of my own specific sense of what the people in it represent or symbolize for me.
Though it seems "sensible and normal" to dream of people we know or have known, in reality these people are both in our lives AND our dreams because they represent something to us... something we cannot see inside us, so we need them outside of us, mirroring that something back to us. This way we can see this aspect, belief, attitude, loss, stored hurt, baggage, etc. more clearly.
In an effort to get a better sense of what each person represents for you symbolically, there are some generalizations you can usually make...
Females (that are both in our lives AND our dreams) most often represent our own feelings. Often a specific set of feelings, though sometimes just the general umbrella category of our "emotional self". When it's a specific set of feelings, it's usually hidden feelings, so don't assume you'd know right off. The reason they're appearing in our world (daily life or dreams) in some sort of pointed way is precisely because they're showing us something we cannot see clearly about ourselves. So they're displaying it front and center, complete with gestures, attitudes, specific words, clothing, behaviors, etc. All of these things about the person are clues to help you (the dreamer) suss out the specifics of what's at issue in SELF, which is the point of the dream. (again, this applies to daily life as well, though most are not that well versed in symbolism to actually see this in action very well).
Males in our world typically represent our thoughts, beliefs and behaviors. Often a specific set of thoughts/beliefs/behaviors, though sometimes just the general umbrella category of our "mental and action-taking self". When it's a particular set of thoughts/beliefs/behaviors, it's usually hidden as well... so again, don't assume anything in your exploration of possibilities. Allow every intuition, feeling and thought it's due as you root around inside looking for answers.
Armed with these basic code translations, perhaps you can determine what each of these people represent for you (your ex and his gf). If not, there's plenty more information available from the dream AND daily life to go on...
Setting, context, other people/furniture/items, mood, time of day, and so many other details within the dreams... are clues. It's not so overwhelming if you realize that you already know what all of those things mean when you encounter them in daily life. So... knowing what each means in the dream situation can be as easy as thinking about what they mean to you while you're awake. What that context has always felt like for you in the past. What that furniture evokes in you emotionally, or how common it is in your daily life... I hope you get the idea.
Your daily life, during the timeframe these dreams are occurring, is important too. Of all the days, weeks, months, years... since you were with this person, what was different in your life when you had the dreams? Considering the apparent subject matter, did you begin a new relationship or decide you wanted to right when these dreams started for you? Were you reminiscing? Do you feel a longing when you think back on what could have been? Is it simply that there is unfinished business attached to that old relationship that you need to complete before you can move forward in your life? Ask yourself these questions openly (if you don't quickly know what was different when you had the dreams) and listen inward for responses.
I suppose I've used a lot of words to say what you may already understand, but sometimes... rooting yourself in the basic foundation of your experience can help you gain footing in understanding it.
In more specific terms, the things that stand out to me, that you might find as helpful points of departure in your explorations, are...
1) In your daily life: Your ex brings you back into "his realm" (thoughts, beliefs, behaviors, activities) when he's having difficulty with his own "female energy" (emotional self). You do not ask for this overtly, yet it occurs nonetheless. Why is this dynamic in your life? (This is not about his possible motivations, it's about yours. You draw this to you somehow, for some reason.) Have you kept the chords intact for hidden reasons of your own? Is it time to look at this more closely and perhaps resolve something about it?
2) In both dreams: your ex is not actually there (just as he is actually not in your daily life any more), yet you're waiting for him or looking to him for critical input before you can determine your reality. He is not your partner, yet you continue to look to him before deciding what's true and real and accurate and appropriate and... etc. in the dream. Why is it up to him to decide for you what your own life symbols and experiences mean?
This energy dynamic seems to translate quite well to the idea that you are the one having these dreams, yet you cannot seem to determine their meaning. It really is up to you to determine the meaning... yet you cannot do so without... reaching for a different "mind", a masculine energetic that you do not feel you have in your own beingness.
(This is not unusual, btw. It's just that stating the obvious can sometimes trigger awareness, so I've done that here. No offense or judgment intended)
Some other bits and pieces: ALL people in a dream are you, in aspect. They each represent parts of you that you are in conflict with to some degree, in some way. I do not mean you're fighting with these people... I mean that what they represent about you is still unclear, in confusion, bothering you or causing you pain in your own life. Consciously or unconsciously. Dreams typically occur to bring the unconscious to our conscious awareness, so we can finally be empowered to take our life in directions of our choice, rather than having to live as if we're at the whim of so many things we don't understand all the time.
Pregnancy in a dream indicates something new gestating, about to be birthed. However, stomachs can represent what's been internalized... either way, it seems this woman is revealing to you that there is something inside you whose origins and cause you are rather uncertain of... You have your suspicions, but so much is unclear to you. She rubs her belly in the dream, which may be a playful way of saying that something is rubbing you the wrong way. This might be a hint to you about what this dream is trying to get you to look more closely at in your own self.
I hope this provides some help!! Let us know how you do with the interpretation!
(My sense is that if/when you discover and deal with the message of this dream, your daily life - including your relationships to your ex and his gf - will start to take a new direction.)
Blessings to you in discovering the life meaning in your dream messages!
Sowelu
Reply By Hollowheart - Well, first off I wanted to say Thank You for the extensive replies which were very helpful to me or anyone looking for an interpretation.
I also wanted to point out that sometimes the dreams I do have about him or with him has actually happened and some of the people I didn't know in the dream I have come to find are actual people around where I live that I didn't know were associated with him.
Let's see...In my daily life yes I guess I try to keep things intact with him in my own way. I mean I make no contact with him but at the end of the day if I am having a bad day I want nothing more than to run to him. It also seems that what he does with me and I guess with me knowing that I keep myself open to be there when he does. Also, I think in the back of my mind I know it will happen again when he is having problems and that he will have problems again. He has actually said to people "She's the only one that makes me feel better and I just need to talk to her." So, I guess my reason for him to make the decisions is because I feel there is still a chance that he will change and be with me and I just don't want to miss that chance.
the female..... I do in a way blame her because she has something that I want and have tried so hard to be there for when things got rough. But I am still not sure what she represents as me in this dream. Since, those emotions and feelings are hidden I may never know.
The Belly...I guess since she rubs her belly it could take as someone rubbing me the wrong way. As seeing that I get upset when she contacts me about him or when anyone else does for that matter and I guess it could be that I am worried it's going to happen soon.
First Dream the first dream time does have a significance. I actually had the dream a day or two before the date that we had met two years previously. The second dream took place in my room while we were sitting on my bed and then it ended standing in front of the door to my house. But there is some unfinished business between us because when he left he said he would call me the next day. Also I'm longing to either resolve the unfinished business or try to fix it all.
This could just be wishful thinking or something. But maybe it has something to do with that we both need each other for our emotional selves and I seem to be there for him but I am upset that he isn't there for me.
In regards to recurring dreams, is there really an extra message in the dream? or do they just tell you what you already know in a different way? because you are right everything that we applied to this dream are things that I already know and am aware of. I've broken it down from my point of view but I still don't understand it. Is there anything you can make of it?
Reply by Sowelu - Hi again Hollowheart! about your last question... my experience is that a dream won't recur unless there's something I don't yet understand about the situation referenced in the dream, that I need to understand and/or resolve somehow... in order to grow personally and move forward on my journey in the most appropriate way.
So... it may well be that you do indeed understand all you mentioned, which the dream pointed to... but that you do not realize that something is distorted about it, which is not healthy for you.
There is a certain "pettiness" in the female in your dream, an energy that seems based in lower energies such as jealousy, greed, revenge, etc. Now... I am not saying that this woman is like this in daily life (though she may be, it's not as important), but that she is in your dream, meaning that you are somehow intimately connected to that energy too. This is something your greater self would point out to you, especially if it is not in line with the desires of your heart for yourself. If it doesn't fit who you strive to be, not just from a human level, but from a deeper place.
Clinging to another, for any reason, stems from fear ("clinging" would be equivalent energy to the lower energy mentioned above, btw). Most don't see this or realize this, but it is not a way of showing love, it is a way of living from fear. And it does not lead to "the dream", it keeps the dream from occurring. Fear "takes" from every loving intent, when held in the energies of the dreamer. So the greater self of that dreamer will typically point out where the fears lie, so they can be worked on and released during one's lifetime. It's a main purpose of our lives. To love, yes.... but to love wholly and without distortion or fear tainting that love and creating painful and unintended circumstances and outcomes.
Your ex has told you in clear terms, it seems, that he is aware he has fears and troubles. This is why he cannot be with you. What it seems to me you may not have realized is that you also have things (fears) to clear up in you if you too want to "live the dream". (There's your "shared" emotions)
In this time on earth mankind is discovering that it is not "true love" in a relationship when two people "need" each other. We are not meant to fill holes in each other. Two halves like that do not make one whole. Instead they make an unhealthy codependency in which betrayal is inevitable, imbalance is required, and dominance/submission is the energy dynamic. It's based in fear and false beliefs (we are all fully capable of being whole unto ourselves, so anything that says we need something outside us to complete us is false and based in fear - the fear that we are not enough on our own, among others). In such a relationship... there is no room for real love.
We are meant to become whole within ourselves and then unify with our partner, who is also whole in themselves. THIS is how we create something new and amazing, borne of love and able to flourish.
I suspect that this hints at what you are to learn about your current entanglement with your ex and his new gf. Life is always changing, growing and moving forward... you can't flow with life if you're holding onto something stuck "back there" somewhere.
If you are meant to reconnect with this man in your future, you will do so easiest and swiftest if you are not hanging onto him now. Because whatever you two know of each other right now... is based in the past. And it's gone. No matter how current your conversations are, now matter how strong your heart pullings toward him are... the circumstances of your life reveal that he is not in your NOW. And he can't be in your future if you're clinging to him from the past.
I hope you find this helpful. If not... please toss. I share only in the hopes to shed light. If I've missed the mark, no harm intended.
Blessings to you in discovering the life meaning in your dream messages!
Sowelu
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